(A Journal Entry)
Hey Jesus,
I loved today.
I woke up late—rushed, a little flustered, a little annoyed.
Fifteen minutes late… not too bad, right?
It was Hymn Sunday.
And for the first time in a while, I didn’t just attend, I was there.
And as I sang along the hymns, with a bubble of joy inside, it finally clicked.
“Christ Is Risen—He Is Risen Indeed.”
I’ve heard it before.
But today it felt… real.
And I wondered,what does that actually change?
For my life, for how I live?
Because lately, it’s been heavy.
The hustle, the quiet ache of it all,
the weight of just… existing.
Trying to keep up, trying to stay afloat.
I’ve prayed….
or at least I’ve tried to.
And sometimes I wonder if I’m doing it wrong.
Because why does living feel this heavy?
Was it meant to?
Right before Easter, I felt myself checking out.
Just tired.
It is what it is… right?
But everywhere I turned, there it was-
the cross.
In my devotions, in quiet nudges:
look up, it is Easter after all.
Why the cross?
What does it really offer me?
And I found one thing,
LIFE.
He died so I could live.
He carried the weight so I don’t have to carry it all.
Light for my darkness, meaning for my toil,
joy that somehow finds me even in sorrow.
Is it automatic?
I don’t think so.
At least, it hasn’t been for me.
I heard a quote that says;
“You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you.”
~ Leon Trotsky ~
So, I choose.
Every day, I choose.
To fight for this truth,
or to settle into the weight.
So, what will I choose?
What will I keep choosing?
The blood saves.
The blood heals.
There is life for me, for us.
It didn’t comfort me at first.
Maybe it won’t, right away.
But sit with it.
Let it sink in.
Because later, over lunch with friends,
laughing, sharing stories over Japanese food,
it clicked, quietly.
In You (God), there is more.
More than this moment, more than this weight.
There is eternity.
There is meaning in all of it,
the hard days, the light ones.
And maybe that’s it.
Maybe that’s life.
To keep choosing You,
again and again.
Because every day,
no matter what it holds,
there is life, when I am in You!
~ Sonia Kabare