Growing up, I was not a very outgoing child. It would be befitting to call myself an introvert ā it sounds oxymoronic when you think of my personality now for the people who have interacted with me. To make me feel seen on my twelfth birthday, my mum thought it prudent to organize a surprise birthday party with all the kids in the neighborhood. The best part was that she bought animations for us to binge the entire day. People who grew up with me KNEW my mother (capitalization is key). She was intense and fierce. So, seeing her display such a softer side and the need for me to interact with the neighbor kids was a positive welcome for me.
We started our binge-watching with Snow White. At first, I didn’t like it – the Snow White storytelling was a little too slow for my short concentration span. I would give them 10/10 for the 2D animation designs, though. Speaking of which, justice for 2D animation!! But as the story built up, it caught my eye – that and my amazing company of friends. As the Lord was pouring this memory into me and intercalating it with what I intended to write for His glory, He reminded me of a specific line by Snow White’s stepmother (a woman with very narcissistic tendencies I dare say):
“Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who is the fairest of all?”
This in turn brought to mind a section of the lyrics of a song I love:
“I’m standing with the man in the mirror,
I’m asking him to change his ways,
This message couldn’t get any clearer,
If you want to make the world a better place,
You first look at yourself and make that change.”
You’re probably wondering right now, “What does all this have to do with integrity? How does it all make sense?” Let’s get right into it!!
“Do not deceive yourselves by just listening to his word; instead, put it into practice. Whoever listens to the word but does not put it into practice is like a man who looks in a mirror and sees himself as he is. He takes a good look at himself and then goes away and at once forgets what he looks like. But those who look closely into the perfect law that sets people free, who keep on paying attention to it and do not simply listen and then forget about it but put it into practice – they will be blessed in all that they do.”
James 2:21-25
One of my favourite things to do since October is working out. At first, it started as an outlet for a heartbreak I had experienced a month before. Still, over time, God (I thank him for his healing, by the way. I honestly can’t believe I healed healthily this time) evolved my reasons for working out because every part of me is meant to be a minister. Even how my body looks and how it depicts Christ. Remember the call,” Present your bodies as a holy sacrifice…”? Yeah, that isn’t just about the spiritual disciplines that subject the body – which are equally important – but also about ensuring that outside factors notwithstanding, you become an active participant in ensuring you are healthy. But that’s a whole different topic we won’t divulge in now.
So, with working out comes the temptation to check yourself out in the mirror to see if there is any progress. And if something will make you trust the process that isn’t Arsenal – I have no idea what process they’re trusting anymore 5 plus years later š – it’s the body changes that come with consistent workouts. They take their time!!š I have difficulty explaining how I’ve gained 2 kgs this month alone, but I still look like I did in August š. Nonetheless, we move. I want us to focus on a few things about the mirror that will form the body of this blog;
ā¢ A mirror will give you what you need to see, not what you want.
ā¢ A mirror is the bluntest inanimate object you can own.
ā¢ A mirror will not force you to believe what you see. It will present the facts. It is up to you to decide what to do with it.
We hear a lot of jargon about integrity, but one that goes around a lot is “being the same person in private as you are in public”, which is simple and true. However, what if I told you this definition of integrity is incomplete? Because on what standard are we gauging this “person”? Themselves? No. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Other people? No. Again, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. What conceptual framework is used here to gauge this weighty concept of integrity?
“The word of God is alive and active, sharper than any double-edged sword. It cuts all the way through, to where soul and spirit meet, to where joints and marrow come together. It judges the desires and thoughts of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12
For me, integrity is the reflection of the word of God in private with the same intensity (and I could say even more intensity) as you strive to do in public. Why the word of God, you may ask?
Do you remember Snow White’s stepmother’s narcissistic tendencies? She was so used to being told she was the fairest in the land. The one time she is told that it is her daughter, rather than embrace the reality, she would instead poison and kill Snow White, her own family. And I love that the mirror refused to lie to her thrice. It was like “Hapa itabidi univunje because uwongo naye hupati kwangu.” And while the mirror told the stepmother the truth, it left her to decide what she wanted to do with the truth. It just guided her to a compass. She did the rest all on her own. We could judge her for it, and rightly so, but how many times has God shown us the depravity of our hearts in our silent corners, and we would instead run towards the depravity than admit our struggles with the truth and submit to God’s power? Because one thing is certain, the word of God will look for you, search you, and convict you. It is said of His word;
“Lord, you have examined me, and you know me.
You know everything I do;
From far away, You understand all my thoughts.”
Psalms 139:1-2
The word of God will always show you who you are, not what you want to believe you are outside of Him. The question is, what will you do with that reality? Adjust and live, or cower and perish?
Remember the song reference and my workout story? Now, we are about to interlink the two into this paragraph. See, a mirror won’t just tell you what you need to see, but also, in its simplest ways, guide you on what you need to adjust. However, it is your attitude to it that will determine whether that bluntness will break you or mould you.
When I started working out, I hated mirrors because they would constantly feed the thought of “sasa mbona unaoverdo, and nothing is even changing in your body?” Until I started not obsessing about the macro changes but focusing on the micro changes while being aware of and intentional about working on them. Like how, despite not looking like it, I am 2 kg heavier; or my arms and shoulders, while still small in size, look ever so slightly more defined. With that comes a little voice saying, ” I know you’re not seeing big changes right now, and we have a long way to go, but look keenly; there are changes. Keep going. I see you, and I am proud of you.”
An encounter with God’s word will do two things;
i) It will flesh out our inadequacy.
ii) It will shine out our God-given identity and show us how to internally these two seemingly juxtaposed concepts.
If you look at the whole of Isaiah 6, you realize what I’m talking about. When Isaiah saw the Lord in his glory, I loved his first reaction.
“I said, ‘There is no hope for me! I am doomed because every word that passes from my lips is sinful. And yet, with my own eyes, I have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Isaiah 6:5
The word of God fleshed out his depravity. But not only did it do that, it cleansed him. Made him pure such that when the same God who is apart from sin asks who He shall send, he stands in the confidence of his sanctification in verse 8;
“Then I heard the Lord say, ‘Whom shall I send? Who will be our messenger?’ I answered, ‘I will go! Send me!’
Isaiah 6:9.
Isaiah was seen worthy not by the standards he saw himself but by the standards of what the word of God prescribed for him after God sanctified his tongue and forgave his sinful ways (See what I did there; I’m asking him to change his ways and what not?).
And here goes my conceptual framework for integrity;
“According to the criterion described by the word of God, how is (insert your name) intimately identified and adjudged?”
Adios.
Paul Adero Omondi.
Level V MBCHB,
POIEMA.