🌸By Joy N.
Some days,it feels like I’m barely hanging on.
Med school is loud in my head, in my schedule, even in my sleep. There’s always something due, something to read, something ahead of me in class, and always that quiet fear of not being enough. And for the longest time, I thought I had to hold it all together.
I used to plan life in five-year chunks – “By this age I’ll be here, doing this, with that kind of peace.” But this place has taught me something else. Something gentler, something harder too: that living one day at a time isn’t weakness – it’s survival. It’s obedience. It’s grace. It’s being honest with yourself.
Because this life!? It’s a lot.
There are days filled with lab reports that won’t write themselves, assignments with weird instructions and short deadlines, classes that don’t pause for your burnout, and mental checklists that grow faster than your energy can keep up. The exam and CAT timetables drop weeks before the paper, as if to say, “Get ready – even if you’re not.” And I’m rarely ready. But I try. I show up. I carry my backpack filled with fear and move anyway.
Some days, sleep feels like a privilege. And peace!? A mystery.
The test results that drop when you least expect them. There’s the dreaded passlist– a digital cliff we all must jump from. You scroll. You hold your breath. You see your name … or you don’t. You process it quietly. There’s no time to unravel. Tomorrow still comes.
Sometimes, I cry in bathrooms.
Sometimes, I fake confidence with headphones in.
Sometimes, I stare at my screen, and all I can pray is:” Lord, please … just today .”
But here’s what I’ve found: In between all the lectures, the tears, the silent prayers, the pressure, the panic, God finds me. God still shows up. In a Bible verse, someone drops in the group chat. In a worship song, I didn’t plan to hear. In that early morning devotion, where we’re half awake but fully believing.
That’s how he walks with me. Not ahead in my plans, but here in the middle of this mental mess.
I’ve come to learn that choosing to get up even when my heart is heavy is worship . That taking notes when my brain is tired is faith . That loving people when I’m drained is ministry. It doesn’t look like a worship song – but it still reaches heaven.
I used to believe worship meant stages and microphones. Now I know it’s also choosing joy on a Monday morning or whispering scripture over your anxiety before a CAT.
Sometimes ministry doesn’t come with a mic.
Sometimes, it’s just someone saying, “We’re praying for you.” And in that moment, it’s enough.
I still have dreams. Even in the madness, I still believe in the version of me that makes it through. I still believe in the purpose God saw when he called me here. Even on the days I don’t feel chosen – I trust the one who chose me.
So no, I don’t have it all figured out. But I’ve learned to give God the whole semester, the future I can’t control and ask him to walk me through today. My imperfect offering. And somehow, that’s enough.
Because like Matthew 6:34 reminds me:
‘ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own .’
✨A Quiet Prayer✨
Lord,teach me to be present.
To trust you with what’s next,
And to meet you in the now – even when the now feels like too much.
Strengthen me to carry what this day holds, And remind me, you’re already holding me.
One Day at a Time. With you.
Amen🙏🌸
