My alarm wakes me up early.
I snooze it so fast, at least thrice,
Before I finally open my eyes.
The light from the phone blinds my eyes.
A Bible app notification pops up,
I ignore it.
I quickly open the tiktok app.
I glaze over people’s luxurious lives,
Following up on who bought what,
who is going on holiday,
wondering when will my life begin.
And just as if he caught a stench of my desperation,
A whatsapp notification from a business person,
Online academic writing.
And I just need only 200ksh for registration.
And just like that nimepoteza pesa ya lunch.
“Kuinama nayo”
Another pyramid scheme.
You’d think after falling for all these traps,
I’d get wiser, but alas!
And so I woke up two hours late,
even more broke than I was before I went to bed.
I spend my time mindlessly doomscrolling,
measuring my worth with likes.
Oh wait, is that another text from Moses?
Must be another Bible Study Invite.
What excuse should I come up with now?
And I keep getting drawn into content that leaves me hollow.
The world keeps reminding me I am not good enough,
But God’s word tells me I’m chosen.
The world leaves me in worry,
But God’s word reminds me to ask and I shall receive.
While the world pressures me to conform,
God’s word reminds me not to be conformed to the world,
But to be transformed by the renewal of my mind.
And so this time around,
I actually don’t come up with an excuse,
I pray to God for strength.
I reread Romans12.2.
I meditate on it and recite it in my heart.
I pick up my Bible and get ready for church.
Suddenly, I feel lighter and more content.
I realise that renewing my mind is not a one time process,
It is like a tug of war,
Where I will constantly go back and forth.
But I am ready for it.
At the end of it all, everything would pass
Everything dies and so will I
But I’m glad that my Lord assures me,
Till death brings us closer.
~ Kadzo