Dear Lord, I am afraid of the coming season. I am afraid that it might be like the end of the previous one or even worse.
I have been fatigued; too fatigued to be enthusiastic about life. I think I don’t remember how it feels like to wake up and feel refreshed. Nowadays I don’t desire to wake up. I just want to sleep, maybe to get a little more rest that never seems to be achievable.
Sometimes I am tempted to wish to sleep to no return. But I wonder whether you would commend me as a faithful servant. Have I fought a good fight? Have I finished the race? I am not convinced of the same. I think you haven’t convicted me so. Yet you tell me that your power is seen in my weakness, and that your grace is sufficient.
I am sometimes too tired to read your word, sometimes too tired to mumble words, even of worship or prayer. Sometimes I can only do it within my heart. Though it always feels lowly and almost unheard despite knowing that you see me even in the lowliest of places.
I no longer feel like a blessing to other brethren, and this hurts a lot. How can I be a blessing to the nations as I am right now? For my words are often filled with grief, and I almost wear out those around me. Not to mention how sometimes I am too weary of speech itself.
I miss singing out praises to you atleast audibly, being energetic in your service, being enthusiastic about reading and sharing your word and rejoicing in your love. For I long to pronounce my love to you my beloved.
As for now, I have almost felt too stricken to feel loved. Yet I know that you love me. For you abound in love and have been my comfort.
Help me be content in you. Strengthen me Lord, for I despair almost of life itself. Forgive me for my ungratefulness and grumbling and restore unto me the joy of Your salvation.
Yet I hold on to this: nothing shall separate me from your love.
~🫒
🎶🎶
My Jesus I love Thee, I know Thou art mine
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign
My gracious Redeemer, my Saviour art Thou
If ever I loved Thee my Jesus ’tis now
I love Thee because Thou has first loved me
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow
If ever I loved Thee my Jesus ’tis now
I’ll love Thee in life and I will love Thee in death
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow
If ever I loved Thee my Jesus ’tis now
I love You Jesus
I’ll always love You
Now and forever
I belong to You
In mansions of glory and endless delight
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow
If ever I loved Thee my Jesus ’tis now
I love You Jesus
I’ll always love You
Now and forever
I belong to You 🎶🎶